Glimmer Shimmer Irridescece

So I feel like I can use this blog spot for a more intimate version of the events I record in my the webct discussion board. Since I just ranted and raved on that thing, I might as well continue it here. Hopefully I can take it deeper and find some fundamental reasons why I feel how I feel. First things first, let's look at Travel Literature. Travel literature seems elusive to me right now, I have done next to no reading in this genre in my life. After nearing completion of Kiwi Tracks, I have to say that my faith in Travel Literature is almost completely smashed. I pray that the subsequent text will be more inspiring. I guess that the root cause of this is that I AM a person of great feeling. I am not an arithmetical logical person; I am wild and at least partly insane. I think that I can learn more from listening to music in the sun than from most books. Kiwi Tracks hasn't made me feel at all. He hasn't filled me with compassion for the Maori, he hasn't made me quake at the majesty of the volcanoes. His political account towards the end becomes more and more divergent and boring. This feeling of genuine dis-ease is compounded by the fact that most of the literature in my other classes also is not good right now. Parallel to this book I was reading Native American creation in myth for Currents in American Lit and also Egyptian psalms for Ancient Lit. All of these seemed extremely uninteresting to me. I like reading about human nature, it’s why I read. I want to learn about myself when I read and the people around me. I seem like a rather bubbly person on the surface I suppose, but I also, to quote Shelley, "bear a hell within me which nothing can extinguish". I want to learn about the darkness of human nature, because the light is fairly transparent and easy. The light is what I am most of the time and what I show to the world around me. I want to learn about the void, the abyss, amorality, etc. My friend's father, who is a professional storyteller, told me one day that my ideas would get me into serious trouble someday. It was after I went on this crazy rant about the irrelevance of ascribing morality to warfare (mainly speaking of the Lebanon conflict), taking the Arjun Argument. The older I become the more I see how his words were probably true. So unless these travel books somehow incorporate the dark side of the moon, I will have a lot of difficulty performing well in this course; or taking anything REAL out of it for that matter. I feel like there is only one question that is even worth asking in this life, and it's the reason I study philosophy, "Why the world, instead of the Void"? How did something come out of nothing? How did a sound (tonic) break the infinity of silence? Or another way of phrasing it would be "to be, or not to be". I feel that most everything else is a superfluity and an irrelevance. Sartre once said, "I exist, and that is all". This short line exemplifies the importance he places on human freedom and responsibility by extension. So this is what fills my everyday, this is what I am thinking of as I watch sunsets. So to read accounts of the general politic of Maori culture doesn't have a lot of weight on me. I'll admit that there is a possibility of finding truth in the strangest places, and this is why I never strictly disclude any one genre, field, science, etc. Who knows, maybe I will be pleasantly surprised. I am fairly convinced that this Stevenson cat, never gave much thought to the very question that is central to my existence. The reason that I suppose this is because infinity has a way of shining through whatever attempts to contain it or conceal it; the best example of this would be in nature herself. There are definitely no sunbeams striating through his pages. I guess this can be the end of my strange rant for now.